Minute 009: What You Need is Some Action


Herb is explaining about this girl “Melissa” he knows in Las Vegas. 

“Anything you want,” says Herb, “for $200 an hour.”

“$200?” replies Ed. 

“Anything you want,” repeats Herb. 

“For example?” asks Ed. 

“Well, anything,” replies Herb, “If you want, she’ll dress up like Santa Claus.”

“Would she bring me a pony?” scoffs Ed. 

Herb laughs. “You’re having trouble with this concept. I’m talking about a Universe of infinite possibilities.” 

“No such thing,” says Ed. They pass through a swinging door to an office cube farm. 

“The only limits are money and imagination,” says Herb. 

“Sorry,” replies Ed, “I’m a little short on both.”

“Hello, Fielding,” says Herb to a passing co-worker. 

Ed sighs. “How much would I have to pay one of these women for some sympathy?” he asks. 

Herb looks at him, askance. “Sympathy?” says Herb, “Very kinky, Ed! I’ll see you at lunch.”  Herb walks down a hallway as Ed arrives at his office cubicle. Ed hangs up his jacket on a coat hanger, grabs a rolled up circuit schematic, and sits down at his desk. He removes the rubber band from the rolled-up schematic and spreads the sheet fully across his desktop. 

  • Jeff Goldblum    as Ed Okin
  • Dan Aykroyd    as Herb
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