Minute 008: Bank Tellers Say Have a Nice Day


“Can you believe that?” asks Ed.

“What’s wrong with that?” asks Herb. 

“Bank tellers,” replies Ed, “say ‘have a nice day,’ the cashier at the supermarket says ‘have a nice day.’ I dunno, I just think that somehow your wife should say something to you  better than ‘have a nice day’.” 

Herb shakes his head. “You’re losing your mind, Ed,” he says. “How long have you had the insomnia?”

“My last good night’s sleep?” asks Ed. 

“Yeah,” says Herb, “the full eight hours.”

“Seems like — 1980. Yeah, the summer of 1980,” replies Ed. 

The scene changes to a fabrication floor for computer peripherals. Ed and Herb continue their conversation as they walk to their offices. 

“So, you’re lying in bed,” says Herb, “you can’t sleep – – I mean, I don’t see the problem. You get up, you go to the airport, catch the midnight flight to Las Vegas. Nobody sleeps there.” 

“Oh, very funny, Herb,” says Ed. 

“No, no, listen – I’m serious!” says Herb. “What you need is some action!”

“I’m not a gambler,” says Ed. 

“Don’t gamble,” says Herb. “Have a few drinks, see a show. Get loose, get laid!” 

“Wonderful,” replies Ed. “I’m sure Ellen would love it.” 

“You’d be home before she wakes up,” says Herb. 

“Sex isn’t the problem,” replies Ed. 

“When was the last time you f—d your wife?”asks Herb.

“You’re a classy guy, Herb,” replies Ed. 

“Up in Vegas, there’s a beautiful young girl named Melissa,” says Herb. “She will do anything you-“

In This Episode:

  • Jeff Goldblum    as Ed Okin
  • Dan Aykroyd    as Herb
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